a woman who has a child and becomes a different person than she was before; her conversations revolve around toilet training, feeding schedules, and cleaning products; there’s a glazed look in her eyes and she appears to have been brainwashed…she’s not – she just hasn’t slept in five years.

Having kids is a bit of a crap-shoot.  Some people are born parents, others struggle significantly…and a few (let’s face it) can barely look after themselves, let alone another human being.  What I think is one of the biggest gambles of becoming a new father, however, is not knowing how becoming a mother is going to affect your partner.  It’s funny because, the lyrics of Kenny Rogers’ famous song, The Gambler, really apply here.

Great advice for new dads

Know when to hold ‘em

Look, we know we don’t look like we did before we had the baby…and you just had nine months of us complaining about aches, pains, haemorrhoids, varicose veins…super sexy stuff.  So, when we’re supposed to be basking in the bliss of having a newborn, please don’t say anything about our leaking breasts, the toilet paper stuck to our bathrobe, baby puke in our hair or the fact that we forgot to put on pants.  We know.  We are just too tired to care and bringing it to our attention is only going to get you into a whole mess of pain.

Know when to fold ‘em

We know more than you.  It doesn’t matter how many books, blogs or parenting magazines you read.  It doesn’t matter that you PVR’d episodes of Bringing Home Baby and watched them religiously.  It doesn’t matter that you came to all the midwife appointments or attended the same pre-natal class that we did.  And (this should go without saying) it certainly doesn’t matter what your own mother taught you.  Bite your tongue.  Don’t show us how to properly swaddle our baby, burp or breastfeed.  Mother. Knows. Best.

Know when to walk away

We know you meant well when you let us sleep in this morning, got up with the baby, fed him, changed him, bathed him and got him to fall asleep peacefully while you cleaned the kitchen, did the laundry and prepared eggs Benedict for us.  The thing is, though, you made us look bad…a crime punishable by death.  So when you bring in the tray of goodies to serve us breakfast in bed, and we look less than grateful…pissed off even…slowly and carefully back out of the room.

Know when to run

“If I could stay home in my pyjamas all day, I would.”  Seriously…run, Forrest, run.  We’s about to go Lorena Bobbitt on your ass.

Never count your money, when your sittin’ at the table

We are well aware of how long it’s been since we had sex.  We just birthed a baby and, even though we love you, that is going to take some time, so ease up.  Did you know that there’s a secret code amongst women that when you remind us, you get another full week of solitary?  Oh…what’s that?   The doctor gave me the all clear?  I don’t remember the doctor owning my vagina.

There’ll be time enough for countin’, when the dealin’s done

Patience, young grasshopper.  You are going to be an awesome dad…and part of being an awesome dad is being a great spouse and partner.  We are going to remember all you did for us and show some real appreciation once the groundhog day of having a newborn is over with.  Like all other phases of parenthood, this too shall pass…and if you can manage to squeak through those first few months without us killing you – you have done a great job!  Keep smiling through the abuse as you clean, feed the baby, pitch in with laundry and reassure us that we’re doing a great job…now that is going to go far in the long run.

Happy Father’s day to all the new (and veteran) dads out there.  All kidding aside, I know that it takes an amazing guy to be a truly great father…trust me, I’m married to one!

Saturday, June 15th:

Go see Les Miserables at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre – if you haven’t seen this show live, you must!  It is my all time favourite.  I’d say do a matinee if with the kids if they are old enough or make it a date night with your significant other (showtimes are 2 PM and 8 PM)

Head to Stanley Park for Nature Play Day – It looks like the weather might clear up for tomorrow, but regardless go have some fun in the outdoors! Nature Play Day is a chance for Canadians to play outside and take advantage of the magnificent parks and wilderness areas we are so fortunate to have access to.

Go for lunch at Tractor Foods in Kitsilano – my friend Meghan and her husband, Steve found that with two careers and two young children, time was very limited. Finding fresh, high-quality, healthy food was a challenge for them. By creating Tractor, Steve and Meghan hope to make everyday healthy foods easy and enjoyable.  Head out and support a Vancouver family-run business!

Sunday, June 16th

Enjoy Car Free Day - we hit up the Main Street Car Free Day every year.  It’s become our Father’s Day tradition.  I love getting out and seeing all the people from our neighbourhood…it kind of marks the beginning of summer for us!  Car Free Day also takes place in the West End, Commercial Drive and Kitsilano.  It’s a fantastic family day!

Support Little Nest at the “Little Nest Love In” – As most of you know, family-friendly cafe, Little Nest is having to close its doors due to rent increases.  A group of supporters has organized a love-in to celebrate owner Mary and her work.  If you’re heading to the Commercial Car Free Day, stop by and show Little Nest some love.

Watch DADS on CBC – my husband was part of this awesome documentary that profiles 7 dads from 3 cities (London, New York and Vancouver).  Already screened at a few film festivals, this will be DADS’ television premiere.  Definitely a fantastic way to round out Father’s Day weekend.  Check out the trailer and screen times here.

Did I miss anything?  Leave your suggestions in the comments below!  Have a fun and safe weekend and, to all the dads out there…HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!

Joaquin Phoenix of Gladiator and Walk the Line fame recently purchased his neighbour’s home in Hollywood:

Phoenix paid $1,390,700. It is 2,511 sq. ft, three bedrooms, and three bathrooms. It is gorgeous outside with an outdoor patio and fireplace.  However, by Hollywood standards, this is an ordinary home.

Remember Alfred Hitchcock’s movie The Birds?  Well, the home where Hitchcock penned the film is for sale:

The four-bedroom, four-bath Colonial just hit the market in Pound Ridge, Westchester County. Coincidentally, current owner Jim Hart wrote the script for Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula,’ ‘Contact’ and animated feature ‘Epic.’  If you want to write a screenplay…this might be the house for you!

Breaking Bad hottie, Aaron Paul recently purchased this L.A. home for $1.4 million.

The two-story house sits high above the street atop a tight two-car garage, measures 2,396 square feet and contains a total of four bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.  Paul is recently engaged, so he’ll likely be sharing the new pad with his fiancé (Boo!).

And…back in The Couve, this lovely home is listed at $1.4 million:

This 1900 square foot bungalow has been “totally renovated”…and sits on a standard lot.  No doubt this “charmer” will be flattened to make way for a monster house, right on busy 16th Avenue.

Vancouver…are you f*%king kidding me?

1. Ray Ban Wayfarers – what dad wouldn’t love a new pair of shades, right in time for summer?
2. Whisk(e)y stones – pair these with a nice bottle of his favorite poison.  I’ve found them in Chapters, Restoration Hardware and Winners.
3. Gift certificate for Lucky’s Doughnuts – dad doesn’t have to stick to his healthy diet all year long!  Spoil him with some of the best in town!
4. E-Cigarettes – if you have a guy who likes to sneak the odd puff (oh the shame!) these are a great replacement!  He should still be sneaky, though…don’t want to teach the kiddies bad habits!
5. Meinhardt’s custom gift box – made by you!  I recently did this for my dad’s birthday.  Go into Meinhardt’s and pick out a bunch of goodies that dad will love.  For a small fee the staff will wrap it up in a nice box for you.  BAM!
6. Harry’s Truman Shave Set by J. Crew – a couple steps above that old Bic he’s been using.
7. Legacy Liquor Store tasting session – Select from private tasting seminars or build your own for dad.
8. Flip Flop Shops Father’s day special – includes a pair of Beer Cozy flip flops from Sanuk, a beer cozy and a bottle of Dad’s Root beer, and the choice of having the package delivered right to your Dad. For every package sold FFS will donate $5 to the Canadian Heart and Stroke Foundation.
9. Martial Arts classes – he dreamed of being Bruce Lee when he was a kid.  Help his dreams come true by registering him for a few lessons!

However, the connection between Vancouver housing costs and what, in fact, is actually driving them still lacks transparency…and I had not heard it articulated as well as I did in Kerry Gold’s recent article in the Globe and Mail.

It’s true.  It is astonishing that based on Vancouver’s measly average salaries that we still muster up the courage to “get in the game” of real estate.  We’ve even become apathetic, as Gold describes, to the unaffordabilty…making jokes about it, rolling our eyes and moving on or, for many, still diving right in.

If we’re so great, why aren’t we all reaping the rewards?

We’ve been deemed “most liveable”, “world class”…we’ve hosted celebrities, international conferences and the Olympics!  As Gold aptly states:

We should be reaping the rewards of Vancouver’s status on the bestseller list of cities for global investment. So why doesn’t it feel as if we are? Vancouver has the feel of a city where only a few are at the top of the mountain while the rest are working hard on the climb.

Foreign investment is underpinned as the culprit in Gold’s article…a phenomenon, which is still a bone of contention and debate amongst many.  The numbers truly don’t add up, however. When (declared) incomes hover between $40-50K/year and average home prices have surpassed the million dollar mark – what gives?  People are still buying the houses…so where is all the money coming from?

What characteristics define the Vancouver Housewife?

Active, and sporting a fresh and updated wardrobe . . . they usually have nice handbags.  Great pony tail (you know the ones, perky, with just enough swing to it)

Are you a good representation of a Vancouver Housewife? Why?

Not at all (or so I think) I always envied these gals who would “perspire” and not “sweat” and tote their kids around effortlessly. And the handbag thing, I just can’t get into that. I use one. . . until it dies, then I get another one.  And my ponytails look crappy with a tonne of crazy flyaways.

Do you feel that living in Vancouver in some way defines who you are? Please explain.

Yes. In the laid back attitude, absolutely.  In my love of the outdoors and my acceptance (I may even say “enjoyment” ) of rain. I don’t rush. I take long lunches and am always prepared for the weather (or a hike in the mountains)

Have you ever had cosmetic surgery, Botox, Restalyne injections, etc.? If so, please provide details. If you haven’t had any of the above procedures performed, would you consider it?

Eek- I had my ears “done” when I was a teen.  They were pretty pokey outey and I would never wear a pony tail. It was worth it. And I consider the inch of “tummy” they took off during each of my 3 c-sections a bonus!

Other than your children (if applicable), what is the accomplishment of which you are most proud?

My leaving Vancouver (eek… don’t burn me!)  We decided to leave Vancouver and move to Saltspring a year ago. Being able to leave the city chaos behind, and start fresh was the most courageous thing we have done.

Has the desire for affluence/power/money been a motivator in the choices you’ve made for your life?

Yes….but don’t get your panties in a knot about this one.  I do want affluence & power. But, not in a “world domination” way… more like in a “change the world” theme.  I want to earn a living off of doing things I love, and helping people. I want to give back to my community. I want to ensure I have the affluence and power to make a change in the world.

Not for a fancy handbag!

Tell us about your stuff. What do you like to buy, collect, etc.?

Hmmm… I love refinishing old furniture. And to garden. It is bad news when I walk into a garden shop.  I seem to be “collecting” webpages (haha) but other than that, I am not much of a shopper or collector. It is pretty important to have a fresh clean pair of chucks (converse) to wear tho! I go through those things like chocolate!

Do you have “staff” in your home? (E.g. nanny, driver, chef, etc.)

Oh do I WISH!

Unless we count the “allowance” we pay out to the little humans in the house . . . nope, no staff.

One day though – someone to clean the toilet and do the dusting would be awesome!

Do you belong to any clubs, teams, groups or social organizations?

Most of my groups are digital support ones – bloggers and writers from around the world. As well, the family is part of 4H, and on the daycare board. And we spend so much time with the kids at soccer that it feels like we are on the team!

Finish this sentence: “My life’s motto is ….”

To be help and do things that make me happy.

Oh, and “don’t ever, ever, throw someone under the bus” cause (and here’s another one) “Karma’s a bitch”

***

As a special thank you for participating,  Julie will be receiving a special gift from Keeley Saunders of Mary Kay Cosmetics. “After moving back to Canada from living overseas for seven years. My husband and I found ourselves pregnant and welcoming opportunities in our new city, Vancouver. Mary Kay to my life in May of 2010. Through Mary Kay I help women to discover their inner and outer beauty. Through our amazing skin care and make up I am able to teach women how to take care of themselves and help with fun easy make up looks. I also teach smoky eye clinics and foundation matching.”

What I began to call myself when the rigors of breastfeeding my first born began.*

Seriously…one night, after putting my daughter down after another blissful day of her battling with my swollen, chaffed and sore chest, I sat with with my double electronic breast pump, squeezing out every last drop before bed when it occurred to me…I am being milked like a bovine right now.  WTF is up with that?

*Nobody tells you that breastfeeding is NOT easy for everyone.   It was one of the hardest things I ever did…so I never, ever judge anyone who either can’t breastfeed or decides not to.  Breastfeeding kicked my ASS!

“As the toy authority, Toys“R”Us knows that moms love products that teach and entertain their children,” said Liz MacDonald, vice president, marketing, Toys“R”Us, Canada. “The philosophy behind Wonderlab by Toys“R”Us is that playing is the most important part of learning and when kids play they aren’t afraid to experiment and try new things. We want to foster kids’ imaginations by giving them a place to start learning that discovery and exploration happen through play.”

Wonderlab by Toys“R”Us contains a wide range of learning products including preschool activities, infant development, crafts, books, electronic and phonics-based learning aids, role play, construction and science.  Brands sold in the store will include Lego, Crayola, Leap Frog, Vtech, Playmobil, Play-Doh, Learning Resources, Melissa & Doug, Creativity for Kids and many more.

“North Vancouver is the perfect spot for our Wonderlab by Toys“R”Us store,” said MacDonald, “We have wanted to open a toy store in this family-friendly neighbourhood for some time, and the size of this retail space was ideal for our first learning concept store.”

The 8,000 square foot store will feature an interactive LEGO shop, a LeapFrog demonstration area, a Crayola Craft Zone, a dress-up stage and many other engaging displays and play stations for children. Staff at this location will be easy to identify in their “Lab” coats and will be offering regular product demonstrations, “Mini-Labs” and Make & Take events.

Enter to Win!

I am delighted to offer one luck reader a $50 gift card to spend at Wonderlab by Toys “R” Us!  To enter, leave a comment on this post telling me what your favourite brand of “imagination” toys is.  For extra entries, follow the directions in the Rafflecopter form below.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

I came across this recipe from one of my fave food blogs, Oh She Glows, and knew I had to make it this weekend.  I did change it a little (adding in cauliflower as I was short on the called for amount of cucumber).  The result was fresh, light and delicious.   A perfect side dish for BBQ Chicken, fish or even steak!

Ingredients:

Dressing:

• 1/2 cup seasoned rice vinegar
• 1.5-2 tablespoons natural cane sugar, to taste
• 1/2 teaspoon fine grain sea salt

Salad:

• 1 cucumber (peeled and seeds removed)
• 1/2 a head of cauliflower chopped into bite-sized pieces
• 1 yellow pepper, diced
• 1 cup diced red onion
• 1/4 cup roughly chopped basil
• 1/4 cup chopped cashews
• Roasted spiced chickpeas

Roasted chickpeas:

• 1 (15-oz) can chickpeas (or 1.5 cups cooked)
• 1/2 teaspoon olive oil
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon chilli flakes
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon cumin
• 1/8 teaspoon ground turmeric

Directions

1. Whisk all of the dressing ingredients together in a medium bowl
2. Chop all the vegetables and place into a large salad bowl
3. Pour the dressing over the salad and toss…leave the salad in the fridge for about half an hour before serving to allow the vegetables to marinade in the dressing
4. Prepare the roasted chickpeas by tossing drained and dried chickpeas into a bowl along with the olive oil and spices.  Lay the chickpeas out on a non-stick cookie sheet.  Bake at 400 degrees for about 30-40 minutes, tossing every 10 minutes or so.  When nice and crisp, remove from oven and allow to cool.
5. Toss in the cooled roasted chickpeas and chopped cashews with the vegetable mixture and serve.

If you wanted to boost the protein content of the salad, you could easily incorporate some cooked quinoa for a more filling version!