The mother I strive to be…
11 of Vancouver’s top mom bloggers have come together to offer their thoughts on what kind of mother we each strive to be. We began yesterday with the lovely Tairalyn Ciulla of Little Miss Mama. Today, I offer you my list of what I aspire to as a mother…for better or for worse!
I strive to be a mom who:
- Gets to sleep in on the weekend…this is not selfish. Teaching my children to fend for themselves for a few hours is going to make them more independent human beings.
- Refuses to read parenting books…aside from the best seller I will one day write, I find parenting books, in general, just another way for me to feel bad about or question what I am doing. I aspire to be a mom who trusts her instincts, second guesses herself and feels guilty the old fashioned way.
- Doesn’t pee every time she sneezes…okay – not EVERY time. Surely this is temporary, right? Kegals, you suck.
- Doesn’t judge other moms. If you say you’ve never tutted at another mom’s behaviour/philosophy…I say “liar, liar pants on fire.” I am guilty of this and I’m not proud of it. People in glass houses and all that. So, no more judging…except for you, lady driving while texting with the toddler in the back seat eating a bag of Cheetos and pounding a two litre of Coke…I am TOTALLY judging you.
- Always has time for my kids…even when I don’t.
- Can pee (i.e. not when I’m peeing my pants – #3 above) alone and in silence. Again, this is not selfish. Children should learn about privacy…and to respect it.
- Doesn’t pretend to be perfect. The people I admire the most are the ones who are themselves, for better or worse. I want my kids to know I am not June Cleaver…nor do I want to be. I am a rockstar in my own right…
- Tells and shows her kids that she loves them…every.single.day. Through words, actions, hugs when they need them and kisses when they don’t want them. I strive to love the CRAP out of my kids…and, I guess I win because I already do.
Seriously…I don’t need any motivation to be the best mom possible to these two love bugs.
Check out The Connection We Share tomorrow for Amy Lee’s post about the kind of mom she strives to be.
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Over the coming days, more of Vancouver’s top mom bloggers will be chiming in…follow along!
Friday, Jan 25 – Julie from JulieNowell.com
Monday, Jan 28 – Eschelle from Mumfection
Tuesday, Jan 29 – Taslim from Let ME out!!
Wednesday, Jan 30 – Katie from World by Smith
Thursday, Jan 31 – Lori from The Write Mama
Friday, Feb 1 – Kristina from Swank Mama
Monday, Feb 4 – Brandee from One Crazy Kid
Tuesday, Feb 5 – Jessica from North Shore Mama
Well, pretty innocuous post this time, but I feel contrarian today. mainly because I logged into facebook on an unrelated note and saw a mom I know posting about sleep, the 2nd biggest controversy only to breastfeeding out there. What I have to say is this. I get the no-judgement thing. But when moms who have alternative ideas out there (for example, even you saying you don’t read parenting books) put themselves out there, which is easy to do nowadays via facebook or a blog, and make a big statement on their parenting philosophies, I feel they are opening the door to discussion, but in some cases, outright debate. To tell me that it was wrong to hire a sleep consultant for my infant boy (i mention the sex only cuz boys have been empirically horrible at sleep compared to girls I know), or wrong to try and avoid that $400 consultant bill by reading every sleep book and trying everything I could is like a slap in the face. I feel it’s those parents who are judging me first, and I should defend my own choices. I don’t think that will ever end, and I think it’s good for society and for science to have these debates. I’m not condemning the person or her kid, I’m just not sure she knows her ass from a hole in the wall…just saying. Otherwise a great post, totally “nice” haha. There’s my 2 cents.
You are totally entitled to your opinion and I get what you’re saying. I honestly don’t read parenting books because I’m too lazy and usually can’t stay focused when reading them…not because I think they are invalid. Believe me, I ask all my mom friends who devour books for the “Coles notes” version of what they read!
True, true, that was a minor example. Anyways, a good post, setting intentions, always a good place to start!
Yeah i can’t stand parenting books either… not my cup of tea!!! I also can’t wait to be able to sleep in again on weekends… when that happens though i’ll be fighting to wake up there teen bodies before 2pm i’m sure of it lol!!
I absolutely love this post; it is authentic and genuine…something that I, as a mom, hope to teach my children it is VERY important to be! I have actually, honest to goodness, NEVER read a single book on parenting. I may ask a close friend or relative for a “tip” or a “trick” but if it doesn’t sound like something I want to do, I throw it out the window. #3 made me laugh (and breathe a sigh of relief). And I am happy to teach my kids #6 – you are so right about privacy being important. If we show our kids it’s important to us, they’ll be able to show others it’s important to them. And it should be. Especially when peeing
Thank you for this great post!
I agree with every. single. point. especially, the peeing alone point. Yes, I would LOVE to pee alone without a toddler on my lap…
Love this post! You made me both laugh and nod my head in agreement while reading. I can especially totally relate to #5. We all have parenting ‘things’ to work on and I appreciate your honesty in your writing.
Love the way you tackled this post! Good on you…
xxoo
Taira
Great post Melissa!
Awesome post! I too, one day, hope to not sneezepee. #4,5, 7, and 8 are all things that are SO important to me too. I totally love the way you tackled this.
What a great list! I love the point about guilt free lie-ins on the weekend:) I have never made it through a parenting book, but have definitely turned to Google countless times. I am trying to take a more instinct based parenting approach, but it definitely takes guts.
Love #8. There’s no way we can show too much love for our kids. No matter what mistakes I make, that’s what I always go back to…
Nice post! Thank you for sharing these thoughts and tips. I love #5 and #8 because it really shows how you love your kids so much.
I can absolutely relate to #6 because anywhere I go, my kids always follow. They always make sure that mom is always in sight and yes, the comfort room is not an exception.
I only pee when I attempt to jump rope. Is that wrong? #8 is my favourite.
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7.Doesn’t pretend to be perfect. Totally agree. We aren’t perfect and all the pretending just takes a LOT of work. Better to just be.
[...] said before how I’m not a big fan of parenting books. It’s partly because I’m stubborn and like to figure stuff out on my own and partly [...]
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